If you want the present to be different than the past. . .
study the past– Spinosa
I’ve been using the metaphor of the "puppy and puppy-trainer" for the Experiential and Abstract Processing Systems. However, to focus on
the collaborative relationship between the two perspectives, I’ll switch to the "tennis-player and coach."
When you play tennis you have to focus on the ball in play. You can’t hit yesterday’s or tomorrow’s balls. You have to hit the one that is here and now. From the first-person perspective of the performer, it is always now. For this reason, Ram Dass’ aphorism: "Be here now" has become the mantra for some spiritual paths.
However, there is critical information that is not available from the first-person perspective of the player. The tennis coach, observing the game from the stands, can see things that the player cannot.
[See Two Minds for a comparison of how the two personas process information].
The complementary perspectives of the player’s first-person experiences and the coach’s observations can yield a better understanding of what it will take to achieve their shared objective. Needless to say, the collaoration is valuable to the extent that it helps the player achieve the intended outcome.
Fortuantely for the tennis player the rules of the game are simple and well-defined. The rules that govern the outcome of your efforts are not obvious. In fact, your first challenge is to figure out the rules — that is, to solve the puzzle of why act counter to your own interests.
Clients hire me to help them get to the outcome they want. I offer our collaboration some knowledge about psychological principles of cause-and-effect. And, like the tennis coash, I have something else of great value: Access to the dispassionate perspective of the observer, which complements the player’s first-person perspective.
To maximize the value of our collaboration, it is helpful if you understand me and I understand you. Here is my conceptualization of you:
- You have the cognitive skills to keep up with this demanding text.
- After considering your personal history, you are aware of a recurring pattern of self-sabotage that you want to change.
- If you tried to change in the past, you relapsed.
- Whatever is causing you to react to the things that happen as you do, will continue to adversely influence the course of your life until you know yourself well enough to prevent relapse.
- Solving the puzzle [understanding why you react as you do] is necessary but not sufficient. The practical skill to minfully influence how you respond to the things that happen is also required.
With this conceptualization in mind, the next step for us is to solve the puzzle: "Why do you to react to the things that happen as you do?"
How to solve your puzzle
The Cause-and-Effect Research Tool provides a simple but potent strategy to solve your puzzle. Here’s how it works: As soon as possible after noticing a counter-productive emotional reaction to something that happend, complete the three columns [See Between Stimulus and Response for instructions].
Going through the motions of using this tool is beneficial for several reasons.
In addition to the insights into the causes of your reaction, the very act of shifting from the first-person perspective of the player to the perspective of the observer who is researching the causes of your reaction is what elicits Meta-Cognitive Awareness. Using the Cause-and-Effect Research Tool forces you to rise above your immediate experience so you can observe and study it.
The motivation for using the tools is to solve the puzzle of why you react counter to your interests. The byproducts of using the tool [Meta-Cognitive Awareness, and the development of the procedural skill to shift from the reactive perspective of the puppy to the proactive perspective of the puppy-trainer] may be even more valuable.
When attempting to cope with a provocative event, you are the player who has to react in real time. There are more urgent targets for your attention than speculating about the deep causes of your emotional reaction. However, from the detached perspective of the observer, you have the time and distance to examine what goes on inside of you that causes you to react as you do.